I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Can we talk?
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you have to start all over again.
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