Man cannot live by incompetence alone.
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Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
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Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
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Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
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Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
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Men now monopolize the upper levels depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
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You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
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The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
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Don't believe in miracles -- depend on them.
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When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
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Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.
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In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
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Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.
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Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
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Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents shortcomings.
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Reality is for people who can't face drugs.
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If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again.
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Don't knock the rich. When did a poor person give you a job?
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Peter, Laurence J.

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19 quotations