Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him.
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You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with him.
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The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
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None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
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The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.
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The little trouble in the world that is not due to love is due to friendship.
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Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
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Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.
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I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.
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Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.
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As a man handles his troubles during the day, so he goes to bed at night a General, Captain, or Private.
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Don't be crazy to do a lot of things you can't do .
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Nothing is wonderful when you get used to it.
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Farmers only worry during the growing season, but towns people worry all the time.
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The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.
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Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.
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Most of us are either too think to enjoy eating, or too fat to enjoy walking.
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A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.
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American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
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Instead of loving your enemies -- treat your friends a little better.
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Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
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It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it.
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When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
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To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
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A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
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The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
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A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.
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Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy.
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The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
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If a woman doesn't chase a man a little, she doesn't love him.
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The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.
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No man's credit is ever as good as his money.
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When a man says money can do anything, that settles it. He hasn't any.
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Half the promises people say were never kept, were never made.
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Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.
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I think I am better than the people who are trying to reform me.
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What people say behind your back is your standing in the community.
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One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.
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Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
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Every successful man I have heard of has done the best he could with conditions as he found them...
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A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.
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A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.
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When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
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The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.
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All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.
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When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.
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Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.
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People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.
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Virtue must be valuable, if men and women of all degrees pretend to have it.
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Youth is about the only thing worth having, and that is about the only thing youth has.
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