You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
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I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.
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If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -- not the great occasions -- that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
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The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. [About Russia]
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I do benefits for all religions -- I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
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