The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.
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Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.
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Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. [On Washington D. C.]
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A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.
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Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
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It is not necessary to have enemies if you go out of your way to make friends hate you.
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Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately.
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Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.
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Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today and it will set the pace tomorrow.
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Remember when $25, 000 was a success? Now it is a garbage collector.
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In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
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A liberal is man who will give away everything he doesn't own.
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The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet.
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A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.
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A man who calls bullshit fertilizer.
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Rome had Senators too, and that is why it declined.
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The news of any politician's death should be listed under Public Improvements.
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Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone.
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Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.
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Life is strange. Every so often a good man wins.
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